When Darwin Decided To Marry

When Darwin considered whether to marry, his deliberation went as follows.

If not marry | Travel. Europe, yes? | America????

If I travel it must be exclusively geological United States, Mexico Depend upon health & vigour & how far I become Zoological

If I dont travel.- Work at transmission of Species- Microscope simplest forms of life- Geology. ?.oldest formations?? Some experimets- physiological observation on lower animals

B Live in London for where else possible in small house, near Regents Park-keep horse-take Summer tours Collect specimens some line of Zoolog: Speculations of Geograph. range, & Geological general works.-Systematiz.- Study affinities.

Then he considers the trappings of married life:

If marry-means limited, Feel duty to work for money. London life, nothing but Society, no country, no tours, no large Zoolog. Collect. no books. Cambridge Professorship, either Geolog. or Zoolog.- comply with all above requisites- I could not systematiz zoologically so well.- But better than hybernating in country, & where? Better even than near London country house.- I could not indolently take country house & do nothing- Could I live in London like a prisoner? If I were moderately rich, I would live in London, with pretty big house & do as (B), but could I act thus with children & poor? No- Then where live in country near London; better, but great obstacles to science & poverty. Then Cambridge, better, but fish out of water, not being Professor & poverty. Then Cambridge Professorship,-& make best of it, do duty as such & work at spare times- ¶ My destiny will be Camb. Prof. or poor man; outskirts of London, some small Square &c:- & work as well as I can

He then considers some upsides of marriage:

Children-(if it Please God) - Constant companion, (& friend in old age) who will feel interested in one,- object to be beloved & played with.- -better than a dog anyhow.- Home, & someone to take care of house- Charms of music & female chit-chat.- These things good for one's health.- but terrible loss of time. -

But then, after reverting to the time-cost of married life, Darwin decides to seriously wrestle with the alternative:

My God, it is intolerable to think of spending ones whole life, like a neuter bee, working, working, & nothing after all.- No, no won’t do.- Imagine living all one’s day solitarily in smoky dirty London House.- Only picture to yourself a nice soft wife on a sofa with good fire, & books & music perhaps- Compare this
vision with the dingy reality of Grt. Marlbro’ St.

Marry-Mary-Marry Q.E.D.

In my reading of this (although I haven’t included the last bits of his consideration, I think they’re broadly in the same vein), Darwin decided to marry, not on a whim, but out of a sense of nihilism in the alternative. He thinks it does not do to work without producing anything after, and he thinks it does not do to be lonely.

I think he has a very incisive understanding of the challenges we as humans are wont to have: nihilism and loneliness. We are intensely social creatures: the psychopaths and narcissists cannot do without company. We also require some sense of meaning in our day—or at minimum we seek to avoid feelings of despair at a lack of meaning.

Darwin concluded that the married life would be one with less loneliness and more subjective meaning. I have argued much the same in previous posts!